The Bee's Knees

Honestly, with all of the minis, maxis, and mods, I'm finding it hard to find anything I can wear. None of these looks are a look for Jen. In fact, last week at work in LA I wore a dress that fell just above my knee, and I was so self conscious all day thay I'm not sure I will ever wear it again. Short skirts look amazin on girls with really skinny legs. Girls like me don't look good in short skirts. It's a simple fact. The other thing is, even when I had skinny legs, I never had knees. Some girls have em, so don't. I don't. I keep trying to explain to Trent hat this means, and he just shakes his head. It has nothing to do with having skinny legs, it has everything to do with having bony knees. No matter what, a girl with bony knees always looks better in skirts or shorts than one without knees. Let me demonstrate. To our left are bony knees. These are knees you can see no matter what the rest of the leg looks like. I have also included a picture of Kate Moss, a model who has bony knees. Her knees look that much better because they are bony. I would give up chocolate for life (one of life's great pleasures) to have knees like this.

Then there are those without knees, like me, and many, many others.
Your legs can still look good, but they'll never look AS good as a bony kneed girl. So, to the left, is a regular, non-bony knee.



As skinny as these legs are, they are not bony and shapely like Kate's. Can you see the difference?






I will illustrate this on the model to the right, Tyra Banks. She has no knees. Take away that this is the world's most heavily airbrushed picture, and her legs also look shiny white, and a lot like one of Lyla's cut-out dolls. Focus on the knees. There aren't any. There is plenty of boob; just no knees. That's me. Sans the plenty of boob. No knees Walter.

What's Wrong With This Picture?

Does anyone agree that Kelly Killoren Bensimon (from the Real Housewives of New York) has the freakiest boobs in the world? Obviously, she had a boob job, but what I ask myself is...did she want them to look small, and perhaps natural (not that in any way am I saying they look real)? I think she did had the same idea Blake Lively did--I want them to be bigger than they are without looking like really big boobs. Instead ended up with a lopsided set, with a gargantuan space in between. Now, as annoying and horrific as this orange woman is, she is usually pretty fashionable. People in fashion typically shun the big round boob. In fact, a shapeless, chestless physique is preferred.
That's mystery number one. Mystery number two is, could she not know that she received the worst boob job in the history of boob jobs? Not only are they so creepy and weird shaped, but they look even worse in clothes.

When I saw that she was going to be in Playboy, I thought about how they would try to make these boobs look good. Maybe they had her push them together cross armed? I saw a few of the pics from the shoot, but they were all of her ass, which if I had, I might actually say to hell with it, I'll keep these awful boobs because I have been blessed with the perfect ass. Sometimes, I wish there was such a thing as wishes, because I would surely ask for a great body. It would be a toss-up between world peace and a Victoria's Secret-type body of someone like Ana-Beatriz-Barros.

Summer breeze, makes me feel fine...

...blowing through the jasmine in my mind. Anyone remember that number? If not, youre either too old or too young.

I stumbled across this lovely photo today, and it reminded me of the cheerful weather we're having, the coming of summer, and that scene in Creepshow 2 (which I watched religiously back in the day) where the blob sucks up college students out on a diving platform at a lake/swimming hole. Classic horror.

Enjoy your weekend, wherever it may take you.