It's Been a Long Time Dum Dum

Now that this child is actually here, my previously often updated pregnancy blog has become a rarely updated mommy blog. I wish I could remember/had the time to update this more with all of the funny things Lyla does. I also don't keep a journal of it, which I know makes me a terrible parent, but to be honest I'm a terrible journal person. I have so much I want to say, and can't write fast enough. It's why I could never be a writer. I hate writing. I should just start recording the funny things Lyla does on a home video of myself. Right.
If there's one thing worse than hearing my own voice, it's seeing my own face on video.

Anyway, so much has happened since last I wrote mid October. Lyla is a crazy walker now. I mean she's everywhere. She's like one of the Incredibles, one minute she's in front of you the next she's sitting in her room on a bench.

She is also really bossy. In fact, the boss of everything. If she wants to walk all the way down the street, don't try to stop her or turn her around. Last Saturday, we were outside on the neighbor's lawn, and Lyla drifted off where the big kids were playing. She walked right through their game (they ignored her), picked up some gross sick kid's Capri Sun Lemonade, and in one swoop guzzled it down. I couldn't even reach for it fast enough. Then, when I tried to take it away, she about lost it. Same occurred when we brought her inside from her play. Same occurs 20 times a day when dangerous objects are handled, stickers are chewed, sodas are thrown from the fridge, etc. She's not fully understanding our need to take it away yet, she's really just flipping because she doesn't have it. It's a pretty interesting predicament. We went for a long walk at a local trail on Saturday morning, which was lined with colorful leaves--Lyla's fantasy land. Every five minutes, she grunted or said leaf, so we could pick up a new one for her to old with the 15 others in each hand. If she doesn't have a leaf or a flag in her hand, she ain't happy.
Yesterday, when we went to vote, of course, I couldn't find the damn flags. The one time it wasn't totally out of place for her to have them! In Fells Point on Sunday she had two flags, two leaves in each hand, and her Ugly Monster Moxy all at once. People were probably like, uh, can you help that kid out and take some of her stuff.

Lyla also has a newfound dislike for men. When one comes to the door, when one tries to man handle her, or sometimes even talk to her she either cries, or shakes her head warning them, no, I do not want to talk or partake in whatever it is your offering; be it smiles, funny faces, or your stupid jokes. Some freak man in NJ a few weeks ago wouldn't leave it alone. He just kept going in. We were like, she doesn't like to be touched by strangers. :0 He kept going in his pockets for dollars to give her. He finally gave her a penny or something. My Mom and I were wondering when this guy was gonna take a hint and press on, but he didn't.
Eventually, Lyla warms up to most, but you try to hit her up out the blue, and she wants nothing to do with it.

So, back to my reason for posting. It was Halloween last week, and I have some vids of Lyla prior to and on Halloween that amuse us. The night one was Lyla's first taste of a lollipop. You can't get the full grasp of her absolute love for this pop. I've never seen her enjoy anything as much as this Dum Dum.



Notice in the videos, how no one, including us assist Lyla as she tumbles down the hill, or gets roughed up by the boys. I think I had sipped a little too much spiked apple cider from the Wagner house. Luckily, she can hang!

Otherwise, Halloween was fun, Lyla enjoyed giving out the candy more than anything else. Our camera is broken so, I'm hoping our friends and neighbors send them to us. Fat chance.

Typical Night

Yes, a typical night in our house entails us following Lyla around and getting her to do stuff. She is a ripper now, and I wish I had most of her antics on film since she is all over the place now. Last night, Trent came home from work, and Jean and Lyla were strolling around the corner holding hands.

This was followed by our neighbors Bob and Sue kindly dropping off a pumpkin hat that Sue made for Lyla. Lyla is not digging male guests at our house lately, and proceeded to cry and refuse to walk during their visit. Let's hope she feels that way when she's 17.

This morning we headed over to my friend Erika's Mom's house in the neighborhood, and Lyla rolled in like it was her job to be there. All smiley to the girls, feeling right at home. She ripped all of Olivia's Play Doh creatures off the table (that were perfectly displayed I might add), and mashed them all together, rolled them in a ball, pushed them into the deck, whatever she could to destroy them. Then, she stole each and every one of Livi's Nilla wafers right out of her hand while she was eating them. This is all while she had her own supply. She also demanded to have Livi's straw cup (exactly the same as Lyla's) because hers had a dash of lemonade in it. I'll add that she gobbled a container of craisins while we were there. She was really putting it on. Dancing, talking, telling stories.

Lyla is Walking!

It's been a while since I've blogged because it's been busy around here. Blogging is truly a luxury folks, so hang in there.

Since I've last written, Lyla has started really waling. We always knew she could do it, but honestly, she chose not to. Crawling was so hip and cool, why walk? Once you start, you can't stop, so why rush it?

She got pretty good with pushing the shopping cart and baby stroller (after the procedure of kissing and hugging baby prior to putting her in the stroller, then a feed with the baby bottle is also necessary), so we knew walking independent of those toys would come soon. Next thing you know, she was zipping all over the place. She eats it a lot, and I can't believe her boney butt isn't all bruised up. I enjoy her walking, and it makes going to the park a lot easier. She used to go in a downward dog position, and crawl ith her butt high in the air, so she didn't scrape her knees on the concrete. She also did this at the pool, while kissing frog statues along the way. So, at least her pants and tights won't be trashed, and she won't be as filthy as she was a few weeks ago. I have put a few videos of her recent walks. Unfortunately, I took both of these right before she went to sleep, so she's a bit cranky in them. Leave it to me to torment the kid and fish for her to do all her tricks while she's falling asleep. That's what Moms are for.

Lyla is #1

Lyla turned numero uno last Thursday, August 21. She really did grow up in the last week. She is very mature and seasoned this week, whereas last week, she was still a wee baby. She is really talking now, not just saying random sh-t. Every night, she comes into the kitchen, and literally asks for crackers. She kisses everything, and even makes the mmm-wa sound when doing it. She is even warming up to walking. By that I mean, taking steps when forced because falling is the alternative.

We went for her year check-up, and she was major tall as usual, 31.5". Although our doc has an extremely inaccurate method of measuring her. Last time he said she was about the same height, and when we really measured her she was about four inches shorter. I think she is close to this height this time though. He had to take blood, and she really lost it. In fact, I had changed her diaper when we got there, and she soaked through it while he did the bloodwork. I had pee all over my jacket, jeans, and hands. It ended up all over the floor and doctor as well. It was crazy. Especially since I had JUST changed it. It didn't help that she drank like 5 oz. of milk and 4 oz. of water in the hour before the visit. Unfortunately, the Seventh Generation diapers aren't the best in the absorption dept. We had to get an ER pack of Pampers last week, and even though those things will be in a landfill for all of time, they fit like a damn glove, and nothing gets out of them. The SG's are like wearing a panty liner, if nothin's comin' out they're just super, and feel great, but when you flow they blow.

Back to the subject at hand, Lyla's big day. We did a mid-week celebration and my parents and nephew came for the affair. The real fun started when I made my poor mother stay up till all hours poofing paper flowers with me. There is no such thing as a small affair in my family. We eat big, we decorate big, and we stay up all night. I was ordering candy and coasters three months ago for this gig, and I still had 100 things to do last minute. For a party that included immediate family and a few friends and neighbors, it ballooned quickly.

My problem also lies in indecisiveness and liking too many different things. I'll look at a magazine, clip it, then find something else, and start combining and adding. Then I can't execute. I'm like this with furniture and decorating as well. I want to redecorate every week, move every week, paint every week.

Anyway, the party was a hit, Lyla was great, especially since she only slept about 30 minutes the whole day. Now, I don't have to plan another one of these until her super sweet 16, when I'll have her drive in on a Harley, or be air lifted out by a helicopter.

Chronicles of Lyla

I have put a few videos of Lyla up here to show all the nutty things she does. Although, she is still not acting on demand and on cue, through rigorous training she will perform on camera!

I jest of course.

We are trying our darndest to teach LC how to walk, but she really had little interest. She crawled pretty young, and I think she's gotten so good at it, she really has no need for walking. Why start over? Frankenstein steps, toppling over, who needs it. So, for any of you Moms from Meadowbrook keeping score, you've won, our kid won't walk by her 1st birthday. Blah. No matter, she's much smarter...she knows where her teeth and ears are, can make the sound of a lion, and says lovely words like duck, cracker, car car, and cock.

The Nanny Diaries

It has been nearly a month since my last update, but honestly, planning a birthday party for an immediate family birthday party is no easy chore. Don't feel bad that you weren't invited, no one was. We have decided that until Lyla is older, we are not going to torment everyone we know with an invite to our small house, with an even smaller backyard where none of your kids can do anything but cry until we have to. So, if you were invited, get ready to be annoyed.

Anyway, onto the subject at hand, our nanny search. We had to let our nanny go, and I won't go into the details in this blog, but it left us needing someone much faster than we anticipated. Luckily, a family friend Erin has saved us, and taken care of Lyla for the last two weeks. She is only available through this Wednesday, and therefore we had to kick the search into high gear.

Now, many of you know that we have has the WORST luck finding babysitters. Twice, two separate babysitters committed to a date, and never showed up, and didn't return any of my desperate calls at the time they were supposed to be at our house. The night of my birthday, we were frantically calling to get someone else, then, more recently, we had a birthday dinner (Leslie Wagner for those of you in the know) miss due to another no show. The girl was supposed to come over for a meet and greet (since she was from Craig's List I wanted to check her out first), and she didn't show up. I called her that night, and the next day, and when we spoke, she apologized profusely for the mistake, and said she had forgotten but was still on for the weekend. I told her to come 1.5 hours early to again, get to know Lyla. Well, she never showed. I called and called, and nothing. So, there we were dressed to the nines on a Saturday night, with no sitter. We were so embarrassed, and just pissed. We never heard from her again.

Fast forward to the nanny search. We used the same agency we used last time, and how it works is: they send you a bunch of candidates that they pre-screen (sort of), and then you take it from there.

The first batch had two candidates who didn't like dogs. The question reads: Do you like pets? One answered, "No, but I'll deal with it...and I'm allergic" Now, if you were a dog owner, would you even call this person? Filo barks 10 hours a day, so if you don't like dogs, and can't deal with the most over-protective dog on earth, then "dealing with it" probably isn't going to cut it sister soldier.

Most of the applicants said they couldn't swim, which seemed odd at first, but I had to get over some stuff. Lyla floats in 4 feet of water, so swimming isn't necessarily required, but could be critical in saving her life. So, that was a tough call.

Then, there are the nannies who either didn't get a reference from their last job (red flag), or believe it or not, the reference was given, but the family said they wouldn't hire her again. One woman said she was great with the kids, and they loved her, but she didn't think the nanny liked her personally, so she wouldn't hire her again? WTF?
One found the nanny looking for another job on their computer. I mean really? If you are looking for a new job, are you using your employer's computer to do this?

So, down to it. We had two in-person interviews, and a few phone interviews. Jean and June came in person. We really liked both of them, but June divulged that she doesn't drive on any highways, and that her car ('89 Volvo) isn't equipped or insured for a child. Hmm. So, my child, who you are caring for every day, that may have to go to the hospital cannot ride in your car? Odd. Then she told me that after taxes, and expenses, she would only have $7.00 left for the month, and she wasn't sure if she could manage it. I was feeling uneasy for leaving myself only $1,000 to spend at will on shoes, (my attempt to put all my money into Trent's account is still experimental) and this woman is trying to spread $7.00? Why even show up for the interview if that's the case though. If she wanted more money, and we weren't offering it, just stay home and save me the two hours of time I could have been watching back episodes of Flipping Out or Tori and Dean. Sheesh.

Then there was Jean. Oh Jean Jeanny. She lives in the country, has sleepovers with her family's kids at her house, and offered to make us dinner. Now, when I mentioned Lyla was on an all organic diet, she looked at me with the clear misunderstanding of what that even was. She absolutely could not believe I made all her food. I figured a country gal such as herself would have been growing her own Gilligan's Island style veggies, drinking her own cow's milk, and roasting pigs on a spit in the back, all without the harm of preservatives and pesticides but that is not the case. Anyway, she was great with Lyla, and during her working interview even better. We were just hesitant to hire the only one that seemed normal.

So, we decided to interview a few others, just to know that Jean was the one. This led to babysitter nightmare part deux. Two out of the three new candidates didn't even return my calls. Mind you, this is after they tell the agency that they are interested in the position, and agree to the requirements we set forth ahead of time. I was holding out for Faith this woman who had great experience, and stunning references. The family said they were crying when they said goodbye, best nanny in the world, the whole deal. She never returned any of my three calls. I would say it was me, but all I say is that I got their name from the network, and if they can call me back, etc. I'm not even being my normal, obnoxious, semi-offensive or foot in my mouth self.

Finally, the third chick Frances calls me back. Something about her I wasn't sure about. Then we chatted, and even though her voice was creepy, I agreed to interview her in person. She asked all about the hours, and I made sure I told her we lived near Towson, since she was at the state line, and this could have been of issue. No, no she said, hours are fine, location is fine. Well, 8:30 this morning comes and goes, and she never shows up. Yes, I said it. I call her at 9:30 and leave a message for her. She calls me back at noon saying she thought about it, and leaving at 6:30 p.m. and driving all the way home is just not going to work. So, I have wasted my time doing a phone interview with her, re-arranged our morning schedule to meet with her, and waited around, and she calls at noon to say it's not going to work. Thanks Frankie, for your timely response. I wanted to call her back to tell her to shove it up her arse, but part of me was glad since she sounded like she lived in a cave anyway.

So, we offered the job to Jean. We didn't settle cuz we really liked her, but we couldn't wait and compare even if we wanted to. She was also the only professional one of the bunch. Showed up on time, followed up, loved Lyla. She was happy to accept, and she starts in two days. I just need to ask her to discontinue the application of her perfume which made me physically ill at her first interview. For those of you who don't know, I have a terrible aversion to fragranced lotions, perfume, deodorant, shampoo, etc.

Onward and upward I say.

Anyone have a babysitter?

Lyla Talking and Eating Phone

Hey folks. Just a quickie before I take off, and we pack our entire house into the Volvo and take off for OC for the 4th.

I am drinking a vente, the Starbuck's lame equivalent of large coffee (don't even say your smack about Starbucks, I agree, but it wasn't my choice, my co-workers brought it back for me, so I'm forced to drink it), which I just found out is NOT decaf. For those of you who don't know caffeine's effect on me...let me enlighten you. Unless I'm drinking fabulous cold brewed coffee from a Toddy or Atwater's Market, then I will be plagued with horrible stomach aches and pains for hours to come. It is also likely that I will be parked on the toilet indefinitely. Both of these issues won't help me in the second half of my four hour meeting today where I am on video conference with clients and co-workers on the west coast. The other thing about caffeine is it truly does keep me up. I was addicted to chai teas for a while, but it took several months for me to put it together that they were keeping me up all night, and that there was a reason for my desire to do aerobics at 10:00 p.m. I don't know what kind of crazy pill they're crushing and putting into the teas at Common Ground in Hampden, but I'm like a sleepwalking binge eater on Ambien when I have them. Restless, hungry, agitated.

Anyway, I thought I'd post a video of the Lyla Bean. It's been a while, and even though there is nothing too crazy in this video, it is a perfect example of Lyla doing her thing. She just makes me laugh while she entertains herself, barely paying any attention to me. Although if you filmed as much as me, you'd ignore me too. She isn't walking yet, but she is managing to stand on her own pretty well. Normally, I'd let her figure it out, but she was dangerously close to hitting her head on the corner of our table, so I assisted. No, I don't gasp every time she falls. In fact, I need to start paying attention more. We were at a friend's house a few weeks ago for happy hour, and Lyla was riding on this Dora-mobile. I looked away for two seconds to grab my wine (forget that), and she was rolling off of it head first. Luckily, she rolled with it, and I was caught only by Trent.

She isn't too interested in taking steps (except massive ones when forced to play our walking games), but she does enjoy standing, staring, and playing.

She's all growsed up.