The Nanny Diaries

It has been nearly a month since my last update, but honestly, planning a birthday party for an immediate family birthday party is no easy chore. Don't feel bad that you weren't invited, no one was. We have decided that until Lyla is older, we are not going to torment everyone we know with an invite to our small house, with an even smaller backyard where none of your kids can do anything but cry until we have to. So, if you were invited, get ready to be annoyed.

Anyway, onto the subject at hand, our nanny search. We had to let our nanny go, and I won't go into the details in this blog, but it left us needing someone much faster than we anticipated. Luckily, a family friend Erin has saved us, and taken care of Lyla for the last two weeks. She is only available through this Wednesday, and therefore we had to kick the search into high gear.

Now, many of you know that we have has the WORST luck finding babysitters. Twice, two separate babysitters committed to a date, and never showed up, and didn't return any of my desperate calls at the time they were supposed to be at our house. The night of my birthday, we were frantically calling to get someone else, then, more recently, we had a birthday dinner (Leslie Wagner for those of you in the know) miss due to another no show. The girl was supposed to come over for a meet and greet (since she was from Craig's List I wanted to check her out first), and she didn't show up. I called her that night, and the next day, and when we spoke, she apologized profusely for the mistake, and said she had forgotten but was still on for the weekend. I told her to come 1.5 hours early to again, get to know Lyla. Well, she never showed. I called and called, and nothing. So, there we were dressed to the nines on a Saturday night, with no sitter. We were so embarrassed, and just pissed. We never heard from her again.

Fast forward to the nanny search. We used the same agency we used last time, and how it works is: they send you a bunch of candidates that they pre-screen (sort of), and then you take it from there.

The first batch had two candidates who didn't like dogs. The question reads: Do you like pets? One answered, "No, but I'll deal with it...and I'm allergic" Now, if you were a dog owner, would you even call this person? Filo barks 10 hours a day, so if you don't like dogs, and can't deal with the most over-protective dog on earth, then "dealing with it" probably isn't going to cut it sister soldier.

Most of the applicants said they couldn't swim, which seemed odd at first, but I had to get over some stuff. Lyla floats in 4 feet of water, so swimming isn't necessarily required, but could be critical in saving her life. So, that was a tough call.

Then, there are the nannies who either didn't get a reference from their last job (red flag), or believe it or not, the reference was given, but the family said they wouldn't hire her again. One woman said she was great with the kids, and they loved her, but she didn't think the nanny liked her personally, so she wouldn't hire her again? WTF?
One found the nanny looking for another job on their computer. I mean really? If you are looking for a new job, are you using your employer's computer to do this?

So, down to it. We had two in-person interviews, and a few phone interviews. Jean and June came in person. We really liked both of them, but June divulged that she doesn't drive on any highways, and that her car ('89 Volvo) isn't equipped or insured for a child. Hmm. So, my child, who you are caring for every day, that may have to go to the hospital cannot ride in your car? Odd. Then she told me that after taxes, and expenses, she would only have $7.00 left for the month, and she wasn't sure if she could manage it. I was feeling uneasy for leaving myself only $1,000 to spend at will on shoes, (my attempt to put all my money into Trent's account is still experimental) and this woman is trying to spread $7.00? Why even show up for the interview if that's the case though. If she wanted more money, and we weren't offering it, just stay home and save me the two hours of time I could have been watching back episodes of Flipping Out or Tori and Dean. Sheesh.

Then there was Jean. Oh Jean Jeanny. She lives in the country, has sleepovers with her family's kids at her house, and offered to make us dinner. Now, when I mentioned Lyla was on an all organic diet, she looked at me with the clear misunderstanding of what that even was. She absolutely could not believe I made all her food. I figured a country gal such as herself would have been growing her own Gilligan's Island style veggies, drinking her own cow's milk, and roasting pigs on a spit in the back, all without the harm of preservatives and pesticides but that is not the case. Anyway, she was great with Lyla, and during her working interview even better. We were just hesitant to hire the only one that seemed normal.

So, we decided to interview a few others, just to know that Jean was the one. This led to babysitter nightmare part deux. Two out of the three new candidates didn't even return my calls. Mind you, this is after they tell the agency that they are interested in the position, and agree to the requirements we set forth ahead of time. I was holding out for Faith this woman who had great experience, and stunning references. The family said they were crying when they said goodbye, best nanny in the world, the whole deal. She never returned any of my three calls. I would say it was me, but all I say is that I got their name from the network, and if they can call me back, etc. I'm not even being my normal, obnoxious, semi-offensive or foot in my mouth self.

Finally, the third chick Frances calls me back. Something about her I wasn't sure about. Then we chatted, and even though her voice was creepy, I agreed to interview her in person. She asked all about the hours, and I made sure I told her we lived near Towson, since she was at the state line, and this could have been of issue. No, no she said, hours are fine, location is fine. Well, 8:30 this morning comes and goes, and she never shows up. Yes, I said it. I call her at 9:30 and leave a message for her. She calls me back at noon saying she thought about it, and leaving at 6:30 p.m. and driving all the way home is just not going to work. So, I have wasted my time doing a phone interview with her, re-arranged our morning schedule to meet with her, and waited around, and she calls at noon to say it's not going to work. Thanks Frankie, for your timely response. I wanted to call her back to tell her to shove it up her arse, but part of me was glad since she sounded like she lived in a cave anyway.

So, we offered the job to Jean. We didn't settle cuz we really liked her, but we couldn't wait and compare even if we wanted to. She was also the only professional one of the bunch. Showed up on time, followed up, loved Lyla. She was happy to accept, and she starts in two days. I just need to ask her to discontinue the application of her perfume which made me physically ill at her first interview. For those of you who don't know, I have a terrible aversion to fragranced lotions, perfume, deodorant, shampoo, etc.

Onward and upward I say.

Anyone have a babysitter?