Going Green Makes Me Blue

Let me just tell all of you that going green ain't easy. We do a bit to prevent Lyla from suffering the toxic effects of plastic, cotton, and bleach, but geez, when I started really trying to make a switch, it is daunting, and frightening. I bought this book called Organic Baby: Simple Steps for Healthy Living, and let me tell you it's worse than watching Dead Ringers (one of three movies that ever gave me nightmares; the other two are The Shining and that freak Lisa Bonet/Micky Rourke movie Angel Heart).

The book outlines all of the toxins in our every day baby necessities like diapers, wipes, toys, and even rugs. I always think twice about the gross plastic excersaucer living in my basement, and the waste of having three bouncer/rockers (at least I gave them away after Lyla was donezo--which the book says to do if you must partake in the poison that is plastic), but across the board it looks like grim! About the only thing simply broken down about any of her toys is their primary colors. So, Lyla goes on sucking away and the impossibly landfill-destined toys, is diapered daily by chlorine bleach dyed, and petroleum-heavy products, and sleeps on an off-gassing toxic mattress every night (we have since ordered an organic mattress).

Now, a word about the diapers. We are big fans of Seventh Generation products, and have tried their chlorine-free diapers, but they fit like a pair of True Religions. They are so low-slung, and barely absorbent. In fact, I think they are made of brown napkins. Then I bought gDiapers, which are biodegradable and compost(able). The first day I had to tell our nanny Jess that she would have to put an outer shell/panty on with an insert of the actual diaper into the nylon inner pocket. Then, when full, she would have to take the diaper apart in pieces, and feed it one piece at a time with a poker (provided courtesy of gDiaper)into our low flow toilet. Needless to say the toilet clogged the very first day, and I wasn't about to ask her to bury it in the backyard. So, we're back on Pampers, but I might try the g's this weekend again just to take a crack at it. If Julia Robert's (staff) can handle them, so can I. And since Oprah loves Julia Roberts, the whole world should use these, since everyone does what Oprah says. I actually think that the gDiaper manual is on her book club list.

Even onesies are cotton which is bleached with harsh chemicals unless they are made of organic cotton, which I try to get as much as possible, but they're certainly not at Janie and Jack my favorite haunt. They know me as Mrs. Walter there. Sad.

Curtains, those crunchy ends of toys that kids love, every plush toy: made of polyester, worst offender.

Oh, your upholstered chairs, same fibers as your death mattresses.

New furniture, hardwood floors? Coated with harmful varnishes. This is the one time having antique furniture has helped us! Now all we have to worry about is the splinters and lead paint it emits. Ha.

The list goes on...and as I made mine, it was pretty long in the catastrophic categories of my delightful new book. Hooray green...

Points Against Us
1. Anything plugged in her room (humidifier, baby monitor, iPod player)
2. More plush toys made of polyester than you can think of
3. Exersaucer, play mat, dinosaur with plastic balls, high chair
4. Disposable diapers
5. Dr. Boudreax's, Johnson&Johnson shampoo, Mustele Barrier Cream all contain phthalates (cut out lotions and never used powder)Didn't know this at first, so they are now bannedHowever, I blame all of those reading this blog for giving me these items at my shower! Damn you mothers!
6. Diaper Genie-Need I say More?
7. 80% of her clothes are not organic
8. 50% of her sheets are not organic
9. For the first three months we used Pampers Diaper wipes
10. All paint in the house has VOC (Ralph and Martha didn't get the memo from Al Gore yet)

Points For Us
1.Curtains made of bamboo or linen (renewable fabrics)
2.Everything Lyla eats is organic/50% is homemade
3.Aquafor is what I slather on her sensitive bottom 90% of the time
4.50% of her toys are wood, or organic cotton...and we try to limit the number of toys (as my book says, live simply)
5.The rug she sits and plays on every day is flokati (sustainable, animal and environment friendly product)
6.BPA-free bottles, sippy cups, and bowls
7.Organic wipes, detergent, (now) shampoos,and maybe we'll give the g's another go
8.Awareness

Ok, #8 is weak, but I try! So, our minuses outweigh the plusses I can think of, but we're working on it. Geez.

Lyla Goes to the Pool

So, this morning was Lyla's first day at "Get Wet" at Meadowbrook Pool here in Baltimore-- Home of Michael Phelps for any of you keeping score. I was frantic at the house trying to get her there, and for the first I felt like one of the Moms in commercials and movies that is running through her house with a bottle in one hand, the baby in the other, keys everywhere, stuff flying all over the place. I swear, when my nanny got there, she was probably like, what the H E double hockey sticks (cuz she would say that) happened here? The reason is, the lessons are at 11. Lyla typically naps from 9ish to 10:30 or later. Today, I took her for a walk to help my big fat ass, and of course to bond with my daughter, and we didn't get home until 9:20. So, I flew upstairs to put her down, and she zonked. Well, she wasn't even close to being up at 10:15, so I was trying to make noise to wake her up without waking her up! She eventually did wake up, and I had to feed her ASAP. Now Lyla is a girl who likes to take time with a meal. She looks around, take the bottle out, puts it back in... all at her leisure (pronounced lezzzhhhure). She's not trying to chug it by any means. Today was no different, she was bent backwards, laughing, watching Filo, and all sorts of non-drinking bottle type stuff. We got through half the ba before I had to get her ready.

Of course the bathing suit I got her just fits (9-12 months and she is 8 months next week). So, I'm trying to pour her into it, and get easily taken off clothing on over it. Well, she takes a little dumper right then, and I have to re-start, then reorganize the swimmy diaper, the suit, the whole nine again. By this point I'm sweating. I whiz back downstairs, give her another five on the bottle and roll.

I get to the swim club at 11:05 or so, and meet Trent. He is in charge of videotaping the event, and I am in charge of actually exposing myself in a bathing suit, mingling with the Moms, and ensuring Lyla's life aquatic doesn't end in disaster. I've obviously missed the intros, and any sort of direction on whether I need to ease the wee child into the water, or just take the plunge and wing it! I just take the steps in, and Lyla immediately loves it. She starts kicking her legs like nuts, and smiling all over. She couldn't have been happier. This is very good. I popped into the circle of parents and kids (ages 6 months to 3 years old is the range they allow), and I was right next to a Mom who's son was seven months. This made me feel better since all the other kids were older. I thought she was going to be my new best friend, but she just stared at me most of the time, and didn't offer much in terms of fun or conversation about this blessed event. Plus, she had some weird "Mom" bathing suit on, and maybe a bun, so I knew we could never be BFFs. She's the one in the vids next to me. Lurking. Maybe because Lyla is about three times the size of her son, and she can't believe they're the same age? Who knows. I even brought some cards to give to all my other new friends at class, but it seems they all already knew each other, and they definitely didn't associate with the newbie who didn't know EVERY verse to the swim club remix of Wheels on the Bus, or any child outside their kid's age bracket. Whatev.

Anyway, Lyla was a joy, and I can't wait to see what we do next week. Today we dunked under the water a few times. As you can see in the vid, I just pop her under, but Miss Annie held her under longer. I was scared stiff to do it, but Lyla didn't seem to mind at all. The teacher was much more at ease. Daddy was very proud!

The Blog is Back!

Due to a popular vote, the Walter Bean is being resurrected. Now, I can post Lyla's photos on every free site on the Internet including this one. Well, I'll try to stick to videos and the "best of" photos for this spot, and keep my spam to photos only. How's that? If you wanna know what's happening in our crazy little world, you're just gonna have to visit every week.

Anyway, it's been since July since I posted. It's crazy that I was talking about having the baby, and feeling big and uncomfortable and all that crap. Now, I have a baby, and am still talking about being big, just for other reasons (more on that topic in a later post).

Lyla is now almost eight months old, and I cannot believe how time has flown. I'll sum it up by saying she is a dollface, and I just adore her. She sleeps, she eats, she poops (but not too much), and she thinks I'm the cat's nightgown. She laughs at me, I laugh at her. We talk about boys, our favorite pureed fruits and veggies, and reducing our carbon footprints. We've really become quite the BFFs. Although, she is currently in love with her father, which is just fine too. She lights up when he comes in the room, and this is also a joy for me too. I love the love.
She plays yuck yuck with his nose (Trent rubbing his nose on her belly then says yuck yuck while he wipes it all off on her belly) and this causes an eruption of laughter. It happens to make us laugh just about as hard. She's also been climbing over the couch arm as of late where she proceeds to rock in downward dog, and lick and blow raspberries on the leather. Another odd, yet comical act of hers.

She's been doing so many things that amaze us (which is everything since we've never had a kid before, so everything new is so new!). She has been doing some G.I. Joe style crawling the last few weeks, which has started going into a hands and knees rock, and this morning that rock turned into a few crawly steps. We were freaking. Lyla crawling means us baby proofing our very antiquey, very splintery furniture and furnishings. Our deathtrap cocktail table in the living room is being replaced in about two weeks, and the string of low hanging mirrors in the dining room is next. Lyla has also been suprising us with her blocking the monitor during naps. We used to see a nice, small sleeping baby in there. Now, it's her sitting up with her "HUGE HEEEEED" in front of the lens. Scary as well. She's also been doing a lot of yapping. Last night she said Bob. Not intentionally of course. Just came on out. She most says random stuff, and a lot of, "Da da da da da". I like to say I taught her this a few months ago, but it is the sound most kids make all the time, so whatev. We would also like to say it is Da da, as in father, but it sounds more like Dah (rhymes with Fa, the note). She also only whispers this, never says it out loud. Very funny.

We take lots of vids, which I don't always email, so I'll post them here is I can remember. My memory is that of my 96-year old grandmother. Maybe worse. She is able to remember the shopping list of things she needs (like Nips, Sambuca, individually wrapped tissues, etc.), whereas I cannot. It is really, really bad. Actually, worse than it was when I was pregnant. I have NO idea where I put things five minutes ago. I have started taking more notes than anyone you'll ever know. I have Outlook, a date book, five note pads, post-its all over my desk at work, and then I leave it all there, and have no idea what I need to do. I've been on two conference calls this week 30 minutes prior to the scheduled time, I lost my keys once (they were in Lyla's stroller), and I've left my coffee in its handy travel coozy on the table by the front door twice as well.

On the same note, my awareness is off too. I was telling Trent how I was on the phone with the Audi dealership for about ten minutes yesterday trying to figure out why my recollection of maintenance visits and mileage didn't match up to my car, when she finally said to me, "You are referring to the 2006 Audi A4 Avant, right?" This is when I realized I was not actually talking to the Volvo dealership.

Otherwise, life is grand! Ha. We're busy bees, and the spring is no different. So, until I start updating "My Life as a Mommy" entries, I will leave you with this vid of LCW doing her thing.

Two Weeks, Two Days...

I haven't posted since we took our little trip. Wow, how things have changed. I am bigger of course, and I am feeling it. Some days are better than others. Compared to a lot of other pregnant women, I still feel like I am lucky to feel the way I do, but the cramping, pelvic pain, fatigue, and especially acid reflux are in full swing!

Let me go back in time. The lovelies in my family threw a wonderful shower on the 14th, on a great day, we got lucky with weather.
The shower was super nice, I only wish I had more time to spend with everyone. The damn gift giving took forever! It sucks watching someone open presents, and it sucks being the one to open them, because everyone is watching, and yelling at you to hurry up or slow down so they can see. It must have taken two hours to open all of the gifts. They took up half the baby's room! When I finally decided to go through them all last week, it took me about four hours to separate, make piles, etc.


On Saturday, we went to Babies R Us, to finish up the essential list of things like monitors, music, breast friends and crap like that. It was relatively painless. They reorganized the store to be very easily shopped. I used to walk in there and get the dry heaves when buying for others, so it was a relief to see them clean up their act. We have everything stock piled throughout the house. So, if it's a bath she needs, third floor. Breast milk storage, nip covers, bottles, my office/linen closet. Oh, you want to play do you? Basement kid!

The baby's room is actually a nice size, but the flokati rug we got may backfire, as it's fur has gotten everywhere. Whenever anyone comes out of there, they look like the abominable snowman. Plus, Filo has pissed and shit in there a few times to mark his territory, so I've already had to scrub it, and give it a haircut. So, not sure how much activity will be happening on the floor in that room. Pics of the nursery to come, when we get everything else hung. Hopefully that all happens soon, I just want the room done, even if she doesn't sleep in it for a while!

Now, we just need to pop the kiddie seat in (easier said than done), get the stroller (due in this week, fingers crossed), and have the baby. had a dream the other night that her head was that of a 75 year old man. She didn't just look old like some babies do, she had an old man's face. That'll be our luck...we have a 75-year old baby.

The Final Countdown

In the profound words of Europe: "I guess there is no one to blame, we're leaving ground. Will things ever be the same again? Its the final countdown..." Even though they're talking about going into space, and I'm about to pop out a kid, the countdown is on nonetheless.

So, it's been a while. Last I wrote, my biggest issue was memory. Now it's my fat belly. Wow, how a few weeks can change you. I am finally feeling the effects of this kid on my bladder, and organs, and night time sleep is a challenge of pillow arranging, propping, deep breathing, and the like. I might as well build a mote around me, that's how sequestered I am in the bed.

Walking Filo is another challenge. This week has been cooler but last week was oppressive heat. Just trying to make it around the block is like running a half marathon (not a full one yet!). Plus, I look like Samantha Jones in that episode of Sex and the City when she speaks at the cancer dinner, and she's sweating profusely. It sounds crazy, but I often put my head in the freezer after the walk for a quick cool.

Trent and I took a mini tour of the East two weeks ago which was fun. We were up in Jersey for a wedding, then went down to the beach for two days. We stayed in Lewes, DE which was so nice, and so relaxing. It felt like two weeks, even though it was only two days. We could have stayed and done nothing forever. I will share photos from there, even though I look like a bloated whale in all of them. We had great meals, bought a few cool things at the local antique shops, and even met a local photographer who hand delivered a photo to us (for purchase) that we saw in the lobby of our hotel.

The hotel we stayed in was really nice, and quiet. Luckily no one was really at the pool, so we had it to ourselves (another saving grace for me parading around in my maternity suit). There was one couple who was at the pool for a bit with us, who we also saw in the halls every time we left, ate in the same restaurants as us both nights we were there, and were also at the liquor store at the same time. Trent thought the guy was a terrorist and was enjoying his last hurrah before drinking it up and doing something stupid, but I think he was harmless.

We headed back to OC for a day or so for the 4th, so Judy (Trent's Mom) could whoop it up for a night with her new beau! She's a hot number, so we had to give her a chance for some fireworks that day, literally.

Now, it's baby shower time, and the whole crew from NJ is headed down. We roped my parents into doing the wallpaper in the bean's room, so that was a huge help. If it were left to Trent and me to do it, I have a feeling the kid would have a blank wall for a while. They are also perfectionists in their wallpapering, and Trent and I just slap it up any way that takes the least amount of time. So, for the little one, it's probably best we had the experts do it. The inset pic is our painting day, and let me go on record to acknowledge it as Trent's best paint job. A+ honey, A+.

Burning Down the House

As the months progress, my forgetfulness and confusion thicken. Last week, two girls (Missy and Chollada)from the west coast office spent the week here in Baltimore. My only responsibility on Friday night was to drive them to the train station to catch their evening train to NYC.

Well, the trip started off with me taking the wrong exit, and having to u-turn all the way around after a short stint in the complete shit of Baltimore (as in, were you in the shit in Vietnam?). Now, with Baltimore recently being named the second deadliest city in the U.S., you can understand why I wouldn't want to spend much time on the wrong side of highway. The girls had dealt with my cluelessness all week, so this was nothing different.

Upon finally arriving at the train station, I pull into the designated drop-off area, and quickly jump out to help unload the luggage. I had Trent's car because he took mine to drive friends to the U.S. Open. So, I can't figure out how to open the hatch, and I keep pressing the unlock button (thinking there is only one button to both lock/unlock the car). Not thinking, I press lock, and shut the door. How this 2007 Audi allows you to lock the doors with the keys in the ignition is still a mystery, but it did indeed allow me to lock my keys, purse, cell phone, and all the girl's luggage in the vehicle. Shit.

I take the advice of the drunk cab driver behind us, and alert the train police. He grabs a slim jim, and I think our problems are solved. Well, he would have to rip all the rubber weather coating to get in, and even then couldn't guarantee the unlocking of an electronic lock. Shit.

After many minutes of contemplation, I realize we have spare keys at our house. With my keys locked in the car, we know our next task is to get home, and break into the house. So, I leave the cop to watch my car as well as Missy as collateral. We use the $21 Chollada has in her purse to get a cab to our house, and flee the cab quickly since we pretty much stiffed him on the tip.

I go to Ryan and Leslie's house (friends that live across the street) to access our spare key. Eureka!
No. None of the spare keys they have fit in our door. As Ryan travels back and forth trying keys, Cho and I are thinking. The night before I had shut and locked the front windows, but luckily, in my stupidity, I didn't lock the smaller side windows.

So, we could actually open the windows with no problem. The issue was, these are small windows. Cho and I rock, paper, scissorsed it to decide who would crawl in. (Actually she completely volunteered, but it sounds better the other way). Then, we try to negotiate what position is best to go in: head first or feet first. I end up insisting she go head first. As she slithered through, I'm holding her ankles, and Filo is at the other end wagging away, and licking her face. Nice guard dog. He barks at neighbors closing their doors ten doors down, but openly welcomes any intruder.

I find the spare keys, and we're ready to return to the city to save the day. I now have to proposition Ryan to drive us there. He and his son Collin selflessly conceded, and we were on our way. When we got there, they had changed the whole traffic pattern getting in since my car was basically blocking any incoming traffic. There were barricades, cones, you name it.

I popped out, and sucked up to the cop once again, who actually couldn't have been nicer. I felt as if I gave him a significant case to oversee since I don't think they get much action at the train station. He seemed proud as a peacock to be in charge of the whole mess. I thought about tipping him, but wasn't sure if that was legal.

The girls missed their train, but luckily got on another without issue. I immediately went home to end the fiasco. Then, proceeded to leave the burner of the stove on from that night through about 5:00 the next day. Trent came home to find it on. At least it was only on simmer!

Other than the normal brain issues this week, I've only managed to burn a bag of microwave popcorn to complete oblivion in the office. It sent billows of yellow smoke throughout the kitchen, and down the halls of the building. The microwave itself was completely yellow, and looked like it got a good dose of radiation. It would have only topped the cake if the fire sprinklers went off. Good times.

Childbirth Class

So, in about 30 minutes, I leave for my second childbirth class. The first week, Nikki had to stand in as my lover, and I must say, she made quite a partner. Water and snacks were provided to me throughout class, she came with her own pillow, and she even rubbed my face and breathed with me like all the other good husbands.

Of course we were the peanut gallery through the whole thing, since the diagrams they show of my enormous 10cm cervix, the fabric uterus they use for demos, and the baby that is stored inside are all worthy of a chuckle.

Trent was away, and unable to attend, and I am unsure if he will be on time this week since he is stuck in traffic on the way back from Northern VA. I'll have to convince these people that I actually do have a husband. Since my memory has turned to complete mush, I'm a little fearful of what my recall will be on go day. Luckily, Nikki logged and sent complete notes from the first class, so at least we have that.

In other news, I've officially popped! My stomach is so big. It looks like a bowling ball, and at this point, I'd rather not go anywhere, since everyone keeps telling me how big I've gotten. Luckily, not much else has swelled up, but still, when you haven't seen people in a while, they're stunned by your size. I have also started feeling the true effects of pregnancy. I will say, with all of my banter on this thing, I've still had it easy. No major complaints, no sickness, no discomfort.

However, this week, I'm felling everything catch up to me much faster. I feel more fatigued (not sleepy though, unfortunately), and clumsy, and my memory is failing. I've also been having a lot more trouble standing up for long periods of time, and bending over is near impossible. Everything folds on top of itself. My boobs are so big, that they get in the way of the bending, and it's a whole mess. I have also been able to hop in and out of bed, and that has turned into the pivot legs, swing off to side, then slide off bed technique.

Today, I tried tightening Filo's leash, and it took ten minutes. First I tried to bend over and do it, then I sat on the floor, then I started sweating, so I was getting flushed and lightheaded...finally, I got up, and he walked with a loose fit.

Lastly, this bean took a while to start kicking around, now it's an all day affair. There are all kinds of fists and heads rolling out of my belly. At bedtime, I pull up my shirt, and have Trent watch as my stomach turns into a circus. My, how things have changed.

All in all, I'm still feeling very good, and I am blessed for that, but I'm starting to get a little perspective into the limits of being pregnant. It only took seven and a half months!