Clean and Sober

I have been on the CLEAN diet for 15 days now. Shake for breakfast and dinner, and lunch within guidelines of the diet. Let's just say I've gone through 3 pounds of salmon! Lyla has truly been enjoying the "smoothie" making. She loves to add the ice, and especially the gross, gritty powder I have to put into it. She even licks the spoon with the powdery dirt on it, and loves it. I cringe with every scoop. Things have gotten better on the shake front. The first day, I didn't realize I was supposed to blend it into a shake and mix fruit into it. So, I just added the powder to water. I gagged and dry heaved into the sink straight away. It was completely repulsive. I immediately posted to the online community, and everyone wrote back that I was cracked for not adding fruit and blending it. So, that quickly got me in check. Otherwise, it's been pretty good thus far. I do it for 21 days to detox my disgusting post-pregnancy body, and perhaps shock me into eating well for longer. Like most diets for me, I will lose weight, be happy I lost a little weight, then gain it all back and look for a new diet. I am the heaviest I've ever been, obviously, and it's alarming, so I am also considering hypnotherapy. More on that later.

I can't drink on the detox, which is fine since I've abstained for nearly ten months already. Although, Trent opened a bottle of wine last night, and could have gone for a glass. Whatevs, I live.

I suppose being ashamed of my body has been positive for my spending. I haven't bought any clothes in a long, long time since nothing will look good or fit. But, as usual I fantasize about how cute I would look in clothes made for thin people, and these are my newest picks.

Suvi Ruched Tank Bathing Suit
J. Crew $225
I see me wearing this through Europe with one of those Esther Williams bathing caps and big glasses. While, I'm still dreaming, I might throw a pair of sky high wedges in the mix for good measure. In this dream, I also look great in red lipstick. Yes, I'm wearing that too.





Fete Sequined Mini and Nautical Others
J. Crew
I have a skirt just like this that I have never worn because it's too short and I would be stared at in Baltimore. I also own about 15 shirts that look like this. I lastly own a pair of silver brogues, also worn only once since my feet grew again during pregnancy. I'm really so lucky. So, I could technically put this outfit together easily. Would it look effortless like this? Absolutely not. I would for sure look like a complete dork with a look that seems forced and a bod that can't carry it. Woe is me.













Tomboy Sweatshirt Tee and Others
Madwell
I love this kind of look. Relaxed denim shorts with a boy-style vest and feminine blouse. It's true, I haven't worn denim shorts since my freshman year of college, but they looked just like this, and I adored them. Why didn't I save them?

Those are my week's faves. Now...I have a lot of cleansing to do ladies and gents. Lotta cleansing.

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