Only in grammar can you be more than perfect

I know I have been lagging in my posts, so, for anyone looking for a quick fix, please keep the following in mind:

1. The word is recurring, not reoccurring. Man, this bothers me so much.
2. The characters Bert and Ernie on Sesame Street were named after Bert the cop and Ernie the taxi driver in Frank Capra's "Its A Wonderful Life." A nice holiday reference for all of you. By the way, not only are all of my xmas lights up, but my tree is also up. Sorry jacko neighbors, the Walters have won this year. Snap!
3. A snail can sleep for 3 years. My nightly average is about four to five.
4. Married men revealed that they change their underwear twice as often as single men. I'm not even going to go into the reasons why this may be true.
5. The "save" icon on Microsoft Word shows a floppy disk, with the shutter on backwards. This is obviously why I switched to Mac. Geez.